How to Help Children With Big Feelings at Christmas: 8 Calming Tips

Christmas is meant to be magical, but for many children it is also loud, busy and unpredictable. Routines disappear, there are new people, late nights, too much sugar and a lot of excitement packed into a few short weeks. It is no surprise that big feelings often spill over, sometimes right in the middle of the most special moments.

Here are practical ways to help children aged 3 to 8 cope with big feelings over Christmas, so the season feels calmer for everyone.

Why Christmas brings big feelings

• Too much excitement. Excitement and overwhelm feel very similar in a young child's body. A child who is buzzing at breakfast can be in tears by lunchtime.
• Broken routines. School finishes, bedtimes slip and days lose their usual shape. Predictability helps children feel safe, so less of it can mean more meltdowns.
• Busy, noisy days. Shops, parties and family gatherings can be a lot for any child, and especially for children who are sensitive to noise or crowds.
• High expectations. Children pick up on the pressure for everything to be perfect, and disappointment can hit hard when a present or plan isn't what they hoped.
• Tricky feelings. Christmas can also bring up sadness, jealousy or missing someone, which children may not have the words for.

Keep a little routine

You don't need a strict timetable, but a few anchors help. Keep wake-up and bedtime roughly the same, have meals at familiar times and use a short visual plan for busy days: "Breakfast, then Grandma's, then home for a bath." Knowing what's coming next reduces a lot of worry.

Build in calm time every day

Plan a quiet ten minutes each day, especially on big days. A cosy corner with a blanket, a book and some colouring gives children somewhere to recharge. At family gatherings, agree a quiet spot in advance where your child can go if it all gets too much.

Name feelings out loud

Helping children name what they feel makes big feelings easier to manage. Try simple check-ins through the day: "How are you feeling right now? Excited, tired, a bit wobbly?" You can name your own feelings too: "I'm feeling a bit frazzled, so I'm going to take some slow breaths."

Practise calm breathing before you need it

Breathing exercises work best when children have practised them while calm. Try "smell the cookie, blow out the candle" or "blow up a balloon" breaths a few times a day in December, so they are easy to reach for when excitement or frustration boils over.

Prepare for disappointment

Talk gently beforehand about how presents and plans don't always turn out the way we imagine, and that feeling disappointed is okay. If disappointment arrives on the day, acknowledge it first ("You really hoped for that one, didn't you?") before moving on. Feeling heard helps the feeling pass more quickly.

Keep kindness at the centre

Small acts of kindness help children feel good and shift the focus away from presents. Making a card for a neighbour, helping wrap a gift or saying thank you to the bin collectors all count. Our post on kindness advent calendar ideas has 24 simple ideas you can use through December.

Look after yourself too

Children borrow our calm. If you are rushing and stressed, they will feel it. It's okay to say no to some invitations, simplify plans and leave parties early. A calmer Christmas is often a happier one.

When feelings are about missing someone

For children who are grieving or missing someone, Christmas can bring sadness alongside the fun. Let them know it's okay to feel both. Lighting a candle, hanging a special decoration or sharing a memory can help them feel connected.

Printables for a calmer Christmas

The That's Okay Feelings Advent Calendar is an instant PDF download with a countdown chart and 24 small daily activities for calm, kindness and naming feelings, starring the friendly feelings creatures from the That's Okay picture books. Start it on 1 December for a gentler countdown.

You might also like the Calm Breathing Cards and the Calm Corner Kit, or get every pack at once in the Complete Printables Bundle. Looking for a present? Browse our Christmas gifts for children's feelings.