It's Okay To Not Be Okay: What It Means and Why It Matters
"It's okay to not be okay" is a short phrase with a simple idea behind it: you do not have to feel fine all the time, and you do not have to pretend that you do.
We put it on our clothing because it is one of the kindest things you can say to someone. Here is what it means, why it helps, and how to use it.
What the phrase means
It means that difficult feelings, such as sadness, worry, anger or feeling flat, are a normal part of being human. Having them does not mean you are failing or weak. It means you are a person.
It does not mean that you should stay stuck, or that you should not ask for help. Saying "I'm not okay" is often the first step to getting support.
Why it helps
- It removes pressure. Pretending to be fine takes energy. Being allowed to stop pretending can be a relief.
- It opens the door to talking. When people know they will not be judged, they are more likely to say how they really feel.
- It makes feelings easier to name. You cannot deal with a feeling you are hiding from yourself.
How to say it to someone
Keep it simple and do not rush to fix things. Some ways to put it:
- "You don't have to be okay around me."
- "It sounds really hard. It's okay to feel like that."
- "Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather just have some company?"
Then listen. You do not need the perfect words. Being there is most of it.
Teaching the idea to children
Children benefit from hearing this message early. When a child learns that all feelings are allowed, they find it easier to say what is wrong instead of acting it out.
That is the idea behind our That's Okay picture books: fifteen colourful creatures, from Happy and Sad to Jealous and Embarrassed, each showing that every feeling is okay. You might also find these useful:
Wearing the message
Our It's Okay To Not Be Okay range puts the phrase on organic cotton tees, hoodies, sweatshirts and bags. It now comes in black with a white print as well as our original light colours, in a left chest or centred style.
Buy 2 or more items and save 5%, or 4 or more and save 10%, applied automatically at checkout. You can build a bundle on our gift sets page.
If you are not okay
If you are struggling, please talk to someone you trust or your GP. In the UK you can call Samaritans free on 116 123 at any time, or text SHOUT to 85258. If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
