Children's Books About Grief: Gentle Picture Books for Loss (UK)

When someone a child loves dies, they often feel things they have no words for. A good picture book gives them those words, and gives the adult beside them a gentle way to start a conversation that can feel impossible to begin.

This guide covers what to look for in children's books about grief, some well-regarded titles used by UK parents, teachers and bereavement workers, and how to read them with a child. I've included my own book, That's Grief, but it sits alongside others that are worth knowing.

If you have not yet told a child that someone has died, or are not sure what to say, start with my guide on how to explain death to a child.

What a good grief book does for a child

The most helpful books about grief for children tend to do a few things well:

• Use honest, simple words. Phrases like "passed away" or "gone to sleep" can confuse young children. Books that say "died" clearly help a child understand what has happened.
• Name the feelings. Grief is not only sadness. Children can feel angry, guilty, numb, worried or even relieved, often in the same day. Seeing those feelings in a story tells a child they are normal.
• Leave room for questions. The best books don't try to explain everything. They open a door and let the child lead.
• Keep the person who died present. Many books focus on memories and the idea that love carries on, which can be a comfort over time.

Children's books about grief worth knowing

That's Grief by Chris Dixon and Michelle Barton

My own book follows sixteen colourful feelings creatures, each carrying an emotion that can come with loss, from denial and anger through to acceptance. Each page shows what the feeling might look like, what a child might want to do, and why they might feel it, with the message that every one of those feelings is okay. It suits children from around 4 to 9, and was written for parents, carers, ELSAs and school staff. There is a matching colouring book for quieter moments.

The Invisible String by Patrice Karst

A short, reassuring story about the invisible string of love that connects us to the people who matter, even when they are not with us. It is often used for separation as well as bereavement.

Badger's Parting Gifts by Susan Varley

A classic picture book in which Badger's friends remember the skills and kindnesses he left them. It is a gentle way to talk about memories and what a person gave to the people around them.

Michael Rosen's Sad Book by Michael Rosen and Quentin Blake

Written after the death of Rosen's son, this is an honest look at how sadness feels and what helps. It works well for older children, and many adults find it helps them too.

Waterbugs and Dragonflies by Doris Stickney

A simple story that uses the life cycle of a dragonfly to explain death to young children. It is short and calm, and can be read in one sitting.

Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine by Diana Crossley

An activity book published with the charity Winston's Wish. Children draw, write and remember, which suits those who would rather do something than talk.

Grandad's Island by Benji Davies

A beautifully illustrated story about a boy saying goodbye to his grandad. It never uses the word died, so it suits families who want something softer, but it may need a follow-up conversation.

The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup

When Fox dies, the animals of the forest share their memories of him, and a tree grows in his place. A good starting point for talking about remembering someone.

How to read a book about grief with a child

• Read it yourself first. You will know which pages might bring up big feelings, and you can choose your moment.
• Pick a calm time. Bedtime can work, but some children find it harder to settle after a sad story. A quiet afternoon may be better.
• Let them stop. If a child wants to close the book or change the subject, that is fine. You can come back to it.
• Follow their questions. Answer honestly and simply. "I don't know" is an acceptable answer.
• Read it more than once. Children often return to the same book many times as their understanding changes.

Activities to go alongside a grief book

Many children process grief through play and making things rather than talking. A memory box, a drawing of a favourite day together, or a feelings check-in each morning can all help. The That's Grief Colouring Book uses the same creatures as the book, so a child can colour the feeling they recognise. For daily check-ins at home or school, the Feelings Check-In Pack is a simple printable. There are more ideas in my guide to grief activities for children, and if you are looking for something to give a bereaved child, see gifts for a grieving child.

Where to find more support in the UK

Books help, but they are not a substitute for support from people. These UK charities offer free advice and services for bereaved children and the adults caring for them:

• Winston's Wish, which supports children and young people after the death of a parent or sibling
• Child Bereavement UK, for families and professionals
• Cruse Bereavement Support, including support for young people

If a child's grief seems to be getting harder rather than easier over time, or is affecting sleep, eating or school for a long period, speak to your GP or the school's pastoral team.